After an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, a new job gave a father ‘dignity’ and ‘purpose’

This story is part of the My Unsung Hero series, from the Hidden Brain team. It features stories of people whose kindness left a lasting impression on someone else.

When Paul Cotter’s father, Richard, was 52, he was fired from his job at a large printing company.

“He was very unceremoniously let go,” Cotter recalled. “It was basically, ‘Hand in your keys, you’re done.’ “

Richard Cotter had been at the company for more than 30 years, rising through the ranks from entry-level to management.

But it had become clear to everyone that he was having difficulty making decisions. Before, Richard Cotter was known for his sharp mind. Now, he became overwhelmed by the slightest bit of pressure.

No one suspected the underlying reason: cognitive decline due to early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. This was 1975, before the current awareness of Alzheimer’s, and even his doctor didn’t suspect the disorder. Everyone assumed it was a crisis of confidence.

“He was told that he needed to pull himself together,” the younger Cotter recalled. “My father, as you can imagine, felt totally humiliated.”

For the next few years, Cotter’s father lost job after job. Then, when Richard Cotter was 58, he was formally diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. Paul Cotter recalls that his father was horrified by the diagnosis.

“But I imagine he also felt some sense of relief,” Paul Cotter said. “Finally, there was an explanation for his decline. And in spite of it all, he still wanted to keep working.”

That’s where Paul Cotter’s unsung hero stepped in. It wasn’t a single person, but a whole company. The younger Cotter can’t recall its name but says it was a small architectural or engineering firm in his hometown of Buffalo, N.Y.

When Cotter’s father applied for the job, he disclosed his diagnosis and the limitations that came with it. But still the firm offered him the position — handling small tasks like making copies.

“They gave him a paycheck, which made him feel needed and valued,” Cotter said. “But more than just a job, they gave him respect, dignity and a sense of purpose at a time when his life was falling apart.”

The disease continued to progress. Eventually, his father had difficulty keeping his balance, and one day, he fell off a small stepladder. It was clear that it was no longer safe for him to continue working.

The company let Cotter’s parents know that with deep regret, it would have to let his father go. On his father’s final day on the job, his colleagues threw him a goodbye party to thank him for his service.

“What a beautiful, remarkable gesture that was,” Cotter said.

Cotter’s three brothers and sister still talk about the company’s compassion for their father. They wish they could tell their father’s colleagues how much that generosity has meant to their family, all these years later.

“If I could see them today, I would tell them thank you from the bottom of my heart,” Cotter said. “Your kindness during my father’s final chapter will never be forgotten.”

My Unsung Hero is also a podcast — new episodes are released every Tuesday. To share the story of your unsung hero with the Hidden Brain team, record a voice memo on your phone and send it to myunsunghero@hiddenbrain.org.