She felt abandoned — until a teacher’s hug reminded her she wasn’t alone

This story is part of the My Unsung Hero series, from the Hidden Brain team. It features stories of people whose kindness left a lasting impression on someone else.

When Tanya Eby was in sixth grade, her friends made a decision that stunned and devastated her.

“The girls that I hung out with for lunch and played with had held a meeting and told me that I was no longer cool enough to hang out with them,” Eby recalled.

“They would be ignoring me, and I was no longer part of the group.”

Eby’s world was unraveling — but the loss of her friends was only part of the story. A few days later, she broke down in tears while in class, and her teacher, Mrs. Welch, pulled her into the teachers’ lounge to find out what was wrong.

“And I told her about the girls. But then I told her the rest of the story,” Eby said.

“And the rest of the story was, a few months prior to this happening, my mom and my stepdad decided my big brother — my anchor in life — needed to go live with my dad. So, overnight they took him and they dropped him off with my dad. So I woke up one morning and my brother was gone.”

Not long after, her stepdad left too. So, when the girls at school decided they weren’t going to be friends with her anymore, it was just the latest example of the people she cared about leaving without warning.

“It felt like everywhere I turned, people I loved disappeared,” Eby said. “They stopped loving me and they didn’t tell me why and I had no control over it.”

Eby cried as she told the whole story to Welch.

“And in a moment that I’ll remember forever, she just said, ‘Oh, honey,'” Eby recalled. “She pulled me close to her and she hugged me. That’s it. She hugged me and she let me cry. And somehow her hug centered me. It rooted me and it made me feel that I would be OK.”

School ended and a few years later, Eby reconnected with her brother. She never saw Welch again. But Eby said that around 2002, when she began to teach writing to college students, she realized that her teacher’s small act of caring had left a lasting mark.

“It helped me have empathy for students and understand that there were likely many things they were working through,” she said.

“And even if you don’t understand the reason for their pain or maybe it seems superficial — like girls breaking up with you — there are sometimes deeper things happening that you don’t understand,” Eby said. “Just simply being seen, being listened to, is enough.”

Eby still returns to Welch’s quiet gesture, more than 40 years after that day in sixth grade.

 ”That one moment … affected my whole life and I think it’s had an effect on others’ lives, too,” Eby said.

“Kindness isn’t always just these big acts, but very tiny moments of connection that can change someone completely.  So my deepest thanks to Mrs. Welch.”

My Unsung Hero is also a podcast — new episodes are released every Tuesday. To share the story of your unsung hero with the Hidden Brain team, record a voice memo on your phone and send it to [email protected].