In the midst of grief, a woman is comforted by a stranger on the subway
This story is part of the My Unsung Hero series, from the Hidden Brain team. It features stories of people whose kindness left a lasting impression on someone else.
Earlier this year, Maureen Futtner’s older sister died. The death was sudden and unexpected, leaving Futtner and her family in shock.
It was difficult to think about being out in public, let alone going to work. But just a few days later, Futtner had to attend a business event in San Francisco, where she lives. She was less than enthused, but knew she needed to do it.
“ So I made myself get spiffed up. I slapped a smile on my face and I got on a downtown BART train, [which is] our subway in the Bay Area,” Futtner said.
It was rush hour, and the train got busier and busier. Futtner tried to take up two seats, so that she could avoid having to sit next to anyone.
”[But] as we [got] close to the Financial District, a woman with a white cane gets on. I jump up to offer her my seat and she immediately gestures for me to sit down,” Futtner remembered.
The woman insisted that there was room for two and took the seat next to Futtner. Moments later, the stranger turned to her and asked, “How’s your day going?”
”This isn’t something people generally do on BART,” Futtner said. “But in that moment, something in me knew I just had to be honest.”
“It’s been a rough week,” Futtner told the woman. “We lost my sister.”
“‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that,” the woman responded. “I know how painful losing a loved one is.”
The stranger went on to share that she had lost her wife 10 years before. The loss had been acute and difficult to move through. But she’d recently joined a bereavement group and that had helped.
Soon, the two women were interrupted by the intercom announcing Futtner’s stop.
”I had more to say to this woman,” Futtner said. “I wanted to let her know how bereft I would be if I lost my wife, who’s my rock, and I was curious about the bereavement group. Maybe I could try that out.”
Instead, Futtner decided to simply introduce herself. She shook the stranger’s hand and learned that her name was Simone.
If Futtner ever saw Simone again, she knows exactly what she’d say: “Simone, if you happen to hear this, your connection and your honesty helped buoy me that evening, and I hope you continue to heal on your journey with grief.”
My Unsung Hero is also a podcast — new episodes are released every Tuesday. To share the story of your unsung hero with the Hidden Brain team, record a voice memo on your phone and send it to myunsunghero@hiddenbrain.org.
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