Dear Life Kit: I’m jealous of my new girlfriend’s dog. Should I call it quits?
Dear Life Kit is NPR’s advice column, where experts answer tricky questions about relationships, social etiquette, work culture and more.
Send us your anonymous questions. For our next episode, we’re looking for your queries on doubt and decision-making in relationships.
These questions were answered by Haley Nahman of the Maybe Baby newsletter and podcast, and Danny Nelson, co-host of Maybe Baby’s Dear Danny advice series. The conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
Dear Life Kit, I recently started talking to someone I really like, and we’re taking it slow. However, despite her busy lifestyle, she got a big dog that has attachment issues and spends all her time and money on him now.
I didn’t think I’d end up being jealous of a dog, but I find myself wishing she didn’t have him so we could focus on each other. It’s making me doubt whether she’s still available and open to a relationship. How do I stop being jealous of a pet? Should I just consider it a loss, cut ties and move on? —Puppy Love
Nahman: A dog can impact a relationship in different ways. I know someone who has a really high-needs dog, and it added a lot of stress to their relationship and they ended up breaking up.
I know another person who never wanted to get a dog because he wanted to be free, travel and stay out late. He finally meets somebody. She has a dog, and now he’s obsessed. It’s become a cute part of their relationship.
Nelson: It’s not like you’re jealous of a pet. It’s just very difficult to share space and time with an animal that needs constant attending to.
Nahman: Are you attracted to that quality in this person that makes her excited about tending to her dog? If the answer is yes, I’d say you can get through this early period. Start by accepting the dog is part of the package, finding the joy in it and giving it a shot. That means engaging with your girlfriend and her dog in ways you think are really fun.
Nelson: Just begin doing things for the dog.
Nahman: Care begets love. It’s not the other way around.
But if that doesn’t really suit you, and you don’t have much of an attachment to this person, you can call the relationship off.
The podcast episode was produced by Andee Tagle. The digital story was edited by Meghan Keane. The visual editor is Beck Harlan. We’d love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at LifeKit@npr.org.
Listen to Life Kit on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and sign up for our newsletter. Follow us on Instagram: @nprlifekit.
Spanish Flamenco thrives in New Mexico, with its own unique flavor
A lot of folks know New Mexico for green chiles, the largest hot air balloon festival in the world, and the birthplace of the bomb. But it's also a global center of flamenco—the passionate dance, song and music of the Roma people of southern Spain.
With $2.7 billion settlement approved, college sports’ big money era is officially here
The settlement in House v. NCAA brings an end to the NCAA's long-standing tradition of amateurism. Starting this fall, schools will be able to pay players directly up to a salary cap of $20.5 million.
ICE raids grow tense as protesters confront immigration agents
Bystanders and protesters have been confronting ICE agents as the Trump administration ramps up immigration enforcement.
Deportees are being held in a converted shipping container in Djibouti, ICE says
Deported migrants have been stuck at a military base in Djibouti for over two weeks — and ICE officers are also there, guarding them 24 hours a day.
Supreme Court grants DOGE access to confidential Social Security records
The order, for now, overturns actions that limited DOGE's access to sensitive private information. In a separate case, the court said DOGE did not have to share internal records with a watchdog group.
Trump admin asks SCOTUS to intervene and allow Ed Dept cuts
In an emergency appeal, the administration is asking the Supreme Court to lift a lower-court order blocking mass staffing cuts at the Education Department.
