Dear Life Kit: I’m jealous of my new girlfriend’s dog. Should I call it quits?
Dear Life Kit is NPR’s advice column, where experts answer tricky questions about relationships, social etiquette, work culture and more.
Send us your anonymous questions. For our next episode, we’re looking for your queries on doubt and decision-making in relationships.
These questions were answered by Haley Nahman of the Maybe Baby newsletter and podcast, and Danny Nelson, co-host of Maybe Baby’s Dear Danny advice series. The conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
Dear Life Kit, I recently started talking to someone I really like, and we’re taking it slow. However, despite her busy lifestyle, she got a big dog that has attachment issues and spends all her time and money on him now.
I didn’t think I’d end up being jealous of a dog, but I find myself wishing she didn’t have him so we could focus on each other. It’s making me doubt whether she’s still available and open to a relationship. How do I stop being jealous of a pet? Should I just consider it a loss, cut ties and move on? —Puppy Love
Nahman: A dog can impact a relationship in different ways. I know someone who has a really high-needs dog, and it added a lot of stress to their relationship and they ended up breaking up.
I know another person who never wanted to get a dog because he wanted to be free, travel and stay out late. He finally meets somebody. She has a dog, and now he’s obsessed. It’s become a cute part of their relationship.
Nelson: It’s not like you’re jealous of a pet. It’s just very difficult to share space and time with an animal that needs constant attending to.
Nahman: Are you attracted to that quality in this person that makes her excited about tending to her dog? If the answer is yes, I’d say you can get through this early period. Start by accepting the dog is part of the package, finding the joy in it and giving it a shot. That means engaging with your girlfriend and her dog in ways you think are really fun.
Nelson: Just begin doing things for the dog.
Nahman: Care begets love. It’s not the other way around.
But if that doesn’t really suit you, and you don’t have much of an attachment to this person, you can call the relationship off.
The podcast episode was produced by Andee Tagle. The digital story was edited by Meghan Keane. The visual editor is Beck Harlan. We’d love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at [email protected].
Listen to Life Kit on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and sign up for our newsletter. Follow us on Instagram: @nprlifekit.
Auburn fires coach Hugh Freeze following 12th loss in his last 15 SEC games
The 56-year-old Freeze failed to fix Auburn’s offensive issues in three years on the Plains, scoring 24 or fewer points in 17 of his 22 league games. He also ended up on the wrong end of too many close matchups, including twice this season thanks partly to questionable calls.
In a ‘disheartening’ era, the nation’s former top mining regulator speaks out
Joe Pizarchik, who led the federal Office of Surface Mining Reclamation and Enforcement from 2009 to 2017, says Alabama’s move in the wake of a fatal 2024 home explosion increases risks to residents living atop “gassy” coal mines.
‘It’s like feeling the arms of your creator just wrapped around you’: a visit to a special healing Shabbat
Members of Temple Emanu-El in Birmingham gathered recently for their traditional Friday Shabbat service. But this particular service was different, as could be seen by all the people dressed in their finest pink.
Space Command is coming to Huntsville. What might that mean for first-time homebuyers
While Huntsville has been a more affordable market than other growing cities, what’s it been like for those looking for their first home?
Colorado says relocation of Space Command to Alabama is ‘punishment’ for mail-in voting
The litigation announced by Colorado Attorney General Phil Weiser asks a federal judge to block the move as unconstitutional.
Breaking down Alabama’s CHOOSE Act
It’s been a year since Alabama legislators passed the CHOOSE Act allowing families to apply for state funds to use towards homeschool expenses and tuition for participating private schools. The Alabama Daily News’ education reporter Trisha Powell Crain has been diving into how the funds are being used. WBHM’s Andrew Gelderman sat down with her to talk about what we’re seeing so far.
